IT IS OKAY--An After Paradise Perspective on Relationship Shaming
Dating in paradise was an eye opening experience for us twins. Although we didn't find our perfect matches at that time, we were so happy to see some of our best friends find their perfect match. Part of the Fergie Twins motto is to "let people live" and figure out in their own way of what works and what doesn't. We find it unfortunate that in this day of social media and cyber bullying that people take it upon themselves to bash other peoples relationships so often. Who are we to judge? Who are we to cast aspersions at other people and their choices?
Since we've had our time on both The Bachelor and Bachelor In Paradise we have seen and heard hundreds of negative comments regarding people and relationships that we have come to know and love on a personal level. It seems to us that America does not realize that they are harshly judging REAL people with REAL lives who are trying their best to find the right love and keep it.
Let's face it...each couples relationship is filled with a different set of dynamics that specifically works for them. That's what makes coupleships and relationships unique. The bottom line is that often times both the young and the not so young just can't seem to control what the heart wants verses what the mind knows is right. Chemistry is a very powerful thing that can sometimes lead us in the wrong direction. Our perspective is that relationships is where women really take their show on the road...we want the fairy tale ending. Sometimes we get it, and other times we don't.
As we personally learn and grow and truly start to see how relationships tend to unfold we are coming to understand that love is not an easy thing. To find and maintain a close relationship based in integrity and strong character and to find a partner with a strong moral compass and a compelling physical attraction is every girls dream come true, but proves to be one heck of a challenge! Although we were not able to find our perfect match on Paradise, we have had some good luck dating in Vegas since then and we are so happy for our friends who are happily dating or engaged and we wish that all of our fans, and people in general would just choose to also be happy for them, get behind them and root them on! Life is too short for hate mail. Have you ever chosen a partner that your friends or family wouldn't get behind with you and it created a lot of uncomfortable tension? It just can't be a good feeling.
Haley and I are deeply pained to have to watch and read on social media all of the bashing that is coming from people that truly don't understand the dynamics of each couples specific relationship. Do you think everybody knows and understands the complexities of your relationships past or present? Again...who are we to judge?
AMERICA....IT IS OKAY to stand behind the people that we care about and their relationships. IT IS OKAY to wish everyone the best and to want happy endings for couples. IT IS OKAY to not jump on the bandwagon of bashing and cyber bullying that seems to be today's most prevalent way of hurting others. IT IS OKAY TO JUST LET PEOPLE LIVE AND LOVE. IT IS OKAY to allow karma to work it's magic. At the end of the day what is meant to be will be and that is OKAY too! There is a lesson to be learned in every relationship and every situation.
There are two sides to every story. Dating in general is very difficult... let alone dating on a national televised TV show.
So come on America...jump on the Fergie Twins bandwagon! Let's stand behind these "famous" couples, let's wish them the best, let's hope for the best, let's spread love not hurt. Remember...an edit is just that...any article in any printed publication is just that...and that is NOT OKAY!